Hillsdale Estates Family Council

" Engaging Families, Changing Lives!"



Finding the Rainbow Within

Posted on 22 January, 2016 at 9:20

January 6, 2016 

My life is an amazing one on so many levels.


On one hand, I have two amazing children. I know I am a little prejudice, but they are my life, and I am one proud mamma. I have a home in a nice neighborhood. I am alive and healthy. My children are healthy. My parents are still alive and help as much as they can. I have friends and neighbors who help often. I have food and electricity. I have a job I love and the start of a new career. I have a good life.



Then there is the other hand.


I have a husband with Younger Onset Alzheimer’s Disease and he is declining at a pretty quick clip. I am now a single mother and feel the weight on my shoulders daily to figure out our future and to sit close by and watch helplessly as Jim changes from a strong, confident and capable man to a person who doesn’t know his wife or children and drools all over himself.


The contrast between my two lives is stark. So much to be happy and grateful for yet so much to be heartbroken and angry about.


I must work through my mind each day the many blessings I have. I must force myself to focus on the gifts we are given by those we know and those we don’t. I make a conscience effort to remind myself and our children how very lucky we are for all that we have.


Some days this comes easier than others.


When I visit Jim and see the changes that let me know the disease is progressing, I take mental notes. I don’t comment to him. I don’t cry in front of him. I take it all in. Then I speak to the staff and I leave.


I usually make it all the way to the car before I let go.


It is there, in the privacy and quiet of my vehicle I can release the anger, the fear, the heartache. But only if the kids aren’t with me. Then I just get really quiet and try to wait until I am alone. Sometimes this doesn’t happen for a while and those feelings get pushed deep down inside of me. That is when I end up having a really, really good cry. I have to hope that it doesn’t force its way out when I am not ready or not in an appropriate setting.


No matter, eventually, all of those bottled up feelings come back out. They can’t stay in. Letting go every once in a while releases stress, releases the hurt and the bitterness.


And when I am wrapping up my pity party, my mind always turns to those things for which I am and should be thankful. The friends. The help. The love. The kindness. The memories. There is and always will be a battle between what is gone and what we still have. Looking for the rainbow in the midst of the storm brings a sunshine from within that nothing can dimmer.

Text from http://www.helpforalzheimersfamilies.com/2016/01/Finding-the-Rainbow-Within

Categories: None

Post a Comment


Oops, you forgot something.


The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.


Reply kobe byrant shoes
14:10 on 8 September, 2020 
I?d need to examine with you here. Which isn't something I normally do! I get pleasure from studying a put up that will make folks think. Additionally, thanks for allowing me to remark!
kobe byrant shoes http://www.kobe-shoes.us.com
Reply golden goose sneakers
18:28 on 8 September, 2020 
I?d must check with you here. Which isn't one thing I often do! I get pleasure from studying a post that will make folks think. Also, thanks for allowing me to comment!
golden goose sneakers http://www.goldengoosesneakersstore.com
Reply yeezy
18:48 on 8 September, 2020 
I?m impressed, I have to say. Really not often do I encounter a weblog that?s each educative and entertaining, and let me tell you, you've gotten hit the nail on the head. Your concept is excellent; the issue is one thing that not enough individuals are talking intelligently about. I am very completely happy that I stumbled across this in my seek for something regarding this.
yeezy http://www.yeezysus.com
Reply kobe byrant shoes
16:51 on 9 September, 2020 
Howdy! I simply wish to give a huge thumbs up for the good information you've gotten right here on this post. I shall be coming back to your weblog for extra soon.
kobe byrant shoes http://www.kobe-shoes.us.com
Reply supreme clothing
14:13 on 10 September, 2020 
Hey! I just would like to give an enormous thumbs up for the great information you could have right here on this post. I can be coming back to your weblog for extra soon.
supreme clothing http://www.supremes.us.org
Reply off white
18:29 on 10 September, 2020 
very nice put up, i definitely love this web site, keep on it
off white http://www.offwhite.us.com
Reply jordan 6
18:48 on 10 September, 2020 
An attention-grabbing discussion is price comment. I think that you must write more on this topic, it may not be a taboo subject but usually persons are not sufficient to talk on such topics. To the next. Cheers
jordan 6 http://www.jordan6.us.com
Reply off white jordan 1
18:05 on 12 September, 2020 
It?s exhausting to search out educated folks on this topic, however you sound like you realize what you?re talking about! Thanks
off white jordan 1 http://www.offwhitexjordan1.com
Reply golden goose
2:51 on 13 September, 2020 
Spot on with this write-up, I truly think this web site wants way more consideration. I?ll probably be again to read much more, thanks for that info.
golden goose http://www.goldengoose-outlet.us.com
Reply off white jordan 1
4:22 on 13 September, 2020 
Your home is valueble for me. Thanks!?
off white jordan 1 http://www.offwhitexjordan1.com
Reply bape clothing
2:32 on 14 September, 2020 
There are definitely lots of details like that to take into consideration. That is a great level to convey up. I offer the ideas above as common inspiration but clearly there are questions just like the one you deliver up the place crucial factor shall be working in sincere good faith. I don?t know if greatest practices have emerged around issues like that, however I am certain that your job is clearly identified as a good game. Both boys and girls feel the impression of only a second?s pleasure, for the remainder of their lives.
bape clothing http://www.bapeclothing.us.com
Reply nike epic react
4:00 on 15 September, 2020 
After study a number of of the weblog posts in your website now, and I actually like your way of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark web site checklist and will likely be checking again soon. Pls take a look at my website online as properly and let me know what you think.
nike epic react http://www.nikereact.org
Reply nike off white
15:06 on 15 September, 2020 
Would you be occupied with exchanging hyperlinks?
nike off white http://www.offwhiteshoes.us.com
Reply off white clothing
15:27 on 15 September, 2020 
This web page is known as a walk-by way of for all of the info you wanted about this and didn?t know who to ask. Glimpse here, and also you?ll positively uncover it.
off white clothing http://www.offwhiteclothing.us.com
Reply adidas yeezy
14:54 on 16 September, 2020 
I?d should examine with you here. Which is not one thing I often do! I get pleasure from reading a submit that can make folks think. Additionally, thanks for allowing me to remark!
adidas yeezy http://www.yeezyadidas.us
Reply lebron 16
13:07 on 17 September, 2020 
Spot on with this write-up, I really suppose this website wants far more consideration. I?ll most likely be again to learn rather more, thanks for that info.
lebron 16 http://www.lebron16.us
Reply nike shox
18:04 on 17 September, 2020 
Youre so cool! I dont suppose Ive read something like this before. So good to search out someone with some unique ideas on this subject. realy thanks for beginning this up. this website is something that's wanted on the web, someone with a bit of originality. useful job for bringing one thing new to the web!
nike shox http://www.nike-shox.us.com
Reply jordan shoes
17:27 on 19 September, 2020 
I?d have to verify with you here. Which is not one thing I usually do! I take pleasure in reading a put up that will make folks think. Also, thanks for permitting me to comment!
jordan shoes http://www.jordans.com.co
Reply supreme outlet
22:51 on 19 September, 2020 
I found your weblog site on google and check a number of of your early posts. Proceed to keep up the excellent operate. I just additional up your RSS feed to my MSN News Reader. Seeking ahead to reading extra from you afterward!?
supreme outlet http://www.supremeclothingstore.com
Reply golden goose
23:38 on 19 September, 2020 
There are some attention-grabbing points in time on this article but I don?t know if I see all of them middle to heart. There may be some validity however I'll take maintain opinion till I look into it further. Good article , thanks and we wish extra! Added to FeedBurner as effectively
golden goose http://www.goldengoose-outlet.us.com